After the colonoscopy- Part II

After the CT scan, the doctor came in and told me he had the results.  I told him I wanted to wait until Janie was with me as she was getting things from the house for our stay in the hospital.  In my profession as a therapist, I read a person’s facial expression to gain insight into their thoughts.  Many times, the eyes and face say more than words.  In the moment when I read his expression, I was optimistic that the cancer had not spread.  Soon Janie returned and the doctor came in to give the results.  He pulled up a chair and sat down beside my bed.   You don’t pull up a chair for good news, you stand, you smile and you give a strong handshake.  He pulled up a chair and told me it had spread to my lungs.  I have four nodules in my right lung and one in my left lung.  I have stage IV cancer.  I will never try to interpret a doctor’s mannerisms again.

The first morning of my hospital stay, a surgeon came in to talk to me about colon cancer.  Upon entering, he saw me holding rosary beads, prayer books, and relics and told me a story about a former patient of his.

The patient had complete blockage in his colon and an inoperable tumor on a vital organ.  The patient was terminal.  Eventually, at a routine medical appointment, a test result showed the blockage was gone and the tumor had shrunk.  The doctor inquired about what happened and the patient told him that he drank a shot of holy water with his pills every morning.

The doctor is Jewish and joked that he considered converting after witnessing this event.  I now drink a shot of holy water every morning with my pill too.

Meeting the surgeon was uplifting.  He told me about the importance of positive thinking and the power of faith.  He explained the possibility of surgery to remove the cancerous tumors in my lungs and the mass in my colon.  After his visit I was positive, smiling, and sure I was going to beat this thing.

Now bring on the oncologist.  I was very eager to meet with him.  He was looking over my chart as he entered the room.  I gave him a big warm smile and asked, “Can I beat this?”

“It’s possible, but not probable,” he replied.

Instantly all my positivity vanished.  I was crushed.  Did I just hear that?  I immediately thought of my children and was devastated.  This was my lowest moment.  I wanted the doctor to tell me  “stay positive” and “you’re going to beat this”.  I now understand why the oncologist didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear.  Based on the numbers, that is the outcome.  But I’m not a number on a piece of paper, I have a soul and I know I’m going to be here for my children.

The oncologist explained his recommendation for treatment.  I learned the chemotherapy options for me are the same as an 80-year-old person with colon cancer.  The chemo is given based on height and weight and doesn’t incorporate age.  My understanding is this, even though I’m young, giving me more chemo doesn’t kill more cancer, it just makes me sick.  Aggressive treatment, in my situation, means I can withstand a surgery on multiple organs.  Being young and having cancer isn’t as advantageous as I initially believed.  After the oncologist left, Janie looked at me and said, “You’re going to beat this.”  And we prayed.  I know with God, love and the support of family and friends…anything is possible.

*Note on the mentioned oncologist: I currently see the same oncologist.  He is a kind, warm man and has helped me greatly. 

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30 Responses to After the colonoscopy- Part II

  1. Alli Birkhead says:

    Wow. Kevin this is so well written, honest, and thoughtful. You never cease to amaze me!

    • John and Lori Cox says:

      we are praying very hard for you Kevin ! keep up your strong faith and positive attitude. xxxxxx

    • Jenny Haan (Spruill) says:

      Kevin, It’s been a while but I just want to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I will always remember you as one of the most positive, fun, and uplifting people I know. You will beat this and we are all behind you 100%!!!! 🙂

  2. Laurie Wilbricht says:

    Kevin, you are amazing. Your strong faith and positive attitude will bring good things. I’m so very thankful for your friendship.

  3. Mary Donahue Berryman says:

    I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers Kevin. If I remember anything about you from high school you are a strong force to be reckoned with and your gonna kick cancer’s ass!

  4. Jodi says:

    You’ll look back on this in 20 years and love having the blog to look back over! Thanks for sharing your story Kevin – I pray for you and keep you in my thoughts.

  5. Laura Scott Baker says:

    I believe in the power of prayer and know that anything is possible with God. You can count on prayers from me and my husband. I imagine it will be hard, but stay positive. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  6. Jonny Gallagher says:

    Hey bud, you are an inspiration to us all. You are showing every person in your life how to face fear and beat it back with a stick. You amaze me, Kevin.

  7. Susan says:

    Kevin, I just had a wonderful and needed visit from your mom. We laughed, we shared and we cried together and we also agreed that God is the One in control of you, of life, death, good, bad and all that other stuff. Keep in mind that there are many prayers going up for your healing, many! Blessings, Ms. Su

    • weinkp1 says:

      Thanks for being a great friend to my mom and all of us through the years. I know what I’m going through is harder on my parents than it is me. Thank you for being there for my mom.

  8. Krissy Castle Downs says:

    Kevin – The last time we talked was probably many, many years ago in high school, but I have been reading your blog and I am so moved by your courage and your faith. Prayer is so powerful and my family will definitely be keeping you and yours in our prayers. Thanks for sharing your journey and your strength.

  9. stacey rouse says:

    Kevin – you are in my daily prayers. I believe what your doctor says about faith and positivity, it will help you through this. Thanks for sharing your experience. Stay strong!

  10. Carlos says:

    Kevin, I’m sitting here reading all the posts and didn’t know what else to say. I looked around and saw Katie’s picture on the table, looking at her I see you Kevin, Janie, Anabel. When I am an old man I want to know you’re doing fine taking care of your family and the girls are wonderful as always. I too will keep praying for you, looking forward to see you around for a long time.

  11. Adam Cooke says:

    Wino,
    I believe very strongly in a higher power but I also believe in individual power and group power. Juice daily. Celery, ginger root and garlic cloves all fresh and organic. At least 6-8 cups per day if not more. Most doctors are not dietitians. What you put into your body, the environment you live in, stress and limitless other factors can cause tumor growth. But it comes down to Acidity vs. alkalinity. Tumors CANNOT live in an environment with a neutral PH balance. Get a PH test and start doing this yesterday!

    For all of you reading this, when you pray for Kevin focus on him. His face, his health, and all your memories of him his entire being. Envision him healing. Although we are not physically there with him, praying collectively we can make a huge impact. People, together, have more power than know….

    You are in my prayers. U WILL PULL THROUGH !

    • weinkp1 says:

      Cookie you are the man. Thanks for the wonderful message. One of the only things I can control these days is what goes into my body. We have a juicier and I eat out of book called “The Cancer Fighting Kitchen”. I’m also a ginger eating machine these days. I willl get a PH test yesterday.Thanks again for the message and the prayers.

  12. rudy hayden says:

    Kevin,
    Please send me your address as I would like to send you something. Prayers for you and your family!!!

  13. Lennox says:

    Hey Kevin,

    This is Amanda (Lennox) McCabe- I worked with Janie for a couple of months at NDS before you all left. We have Holy Water that I would love to send your way!! What is your address? We have been following your story and wish you and your family the best.

    • weinkp1 says:

      Great hearing from you Lenox and would love to get some holy water from you. I don’t want to give out my address on this blog, but will definitely give it to you in an email or Facebook private message. Thanks for thinking of me that is awesome. My email is weinkp1@gmail.com

  14. Nick Schell says:

    Mr Wein. You might not remember me but I was a student at NDS from 2002-2004. I was just surfing around Facebook and stumbled upon this page. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and to keep fighting the good fight – God gives us what we can handle and I know you’ll beat this into submission.

    I go through the Baltimore area several times per year, and if you recall I know a thing or two about the piano, so I’d be happy to play a tune or two (with what little skill I have left!!)

    All the best,

    Nick

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