Summer time

After hearing I would never be “cancer free”, I tried to get into a routine with my activities and thought structure would improve my mentality.  It wasn’t until the second day of my vacation at the Outer Banks that I truly experienced the mental clarity I was seeking.  While holding my daughter Katie’s hand in the waves, I looked back at the beach and saw Janie holding Anabel in a beach chair.  At that moment my life was PERFECT.  There was nowhere else I wanted to be.  There was nothing else I wanted to be doing.  Cancer didn’t matter.  I had the mental clarity I was pursuing.  It came to me when I stopped trying to force it.  Since then, having thoughts of cancer hasn’t bothered me as much.  At times I am still afraid, but I can quickly dismiss those thoughts and focus on the present.

I’ve been trying to embrace my suffering since I learned I would not be “cancer free”.  The doctors tell me I won’t be “cancer free” and medically that may be true.  But physically I feel “cancer free”, so why not live that way.  I have daily reminders that I have cancer because of the chemo pills I take each morning.  My chemo cycle is three weeks on and one week off.  I’m in the second week of my my second cycle.  The chemo has lowered my white blood cell and platelet counts, which has made me more susceptible to infections.  But each chemo treatment I’ve been on, has had similar effects on my blood.  I will continue this chemo regimen until my next set of scans.  My brain MRI will be September 24th and a CT scan of my chest and abdomen will be October 1st.

This summer has been the scariest and most beautiful of my life.  You know why it has been the scariest.  It’s also been the most beautiful because I’ve seen so many wonderful friends and family that I wouldn’t normally see over a summer.  We’ve either gone away or hosted friends and family every weekend except two since finishing brain radiation.  It’s been busy, but a nice busy and our weekends will still be busy with more fun weekends planned in the fall.  This summer has been great, but pales in comparison to what our plans are for next summer (There will be a future blog post about our plans for next summer).  Thanks to all of you who’ve made an effort to visit, call, text, or reach out to me and my family in any way.

After brain surgery some friends and their families came to visit and camped in our yard.  Here is a video a friend made during that weekend.  Just a piece of the awesome summer we had together.

I can’t believe all of the support we have received in kind neighborly deeds and financial donations from family, friends, neighbors and strangers.  We are grateful for everyone’s help.  The funds are being used towards my integrative/homeopathic treatment as well as other medical bills.  I’ve begun a treatment using mistletoe injections every other morning.  Yes, mistletoe.  It will boost my immune system and  help reduce the side effects of chemo.  If you are interested in reading about details and the reasoning behind the injections, I’ve included a website you can check out

I’ve also begun bovine marrow injections to boost my white blood cell (WBC) and platelet counts.  Since the injections of mistletoe and bovine marrow, I’ve had more energy and I’m feeling great physically.  Fortunately for my family, I haven’t started to smell like a bovine.  Who knows if it’s a placebo effect or not? Either way, I’ll take it as long as it works and I feel good.

I can’t say enough about how appreciative we are for the tremendous amount of support and love we have received throughout this experience. A special thanks to Tom and Debbie Curran who allowed us to stay at their beautiful home on the Outer Banks last week.  It was the best medicine for me. I continue to ask for your prayers, positive thoughts, and positive vibes for my family.  God bless.

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