Another surgery

It’s been a little while since I updated everyone about my health. Since my lung surgery on March 25, my lung has collapsed three times. As I write this, my lung is partially collapsed and I’m now collecting fluid in my chest cavity. There is a hole somewhere in my lung that is allowing air to fill up in my chest cavity. The air that builds up puts pressure on my lung and the lung collapses. Each time my lung collapses, a chest tube is put in to remove the air, which allows my lung to expand. The lung usually heals itself, but it can’t when it’s collapsed. The doctors are not exactly sure why this is happening. Since fluid is building up and I’m experiencing pain, I’ll have surgery soon, possibly this Wednesday. The surgery is similar to looking for a hole on a tire. After putting some liquid over my lung, the doctor will look for bubbles and then decide on the best way to seal my lung. This will be my first surgery where they are not planning on taking anything out so I’m hoping it will be quicker to recover, but it still is a major procedure. I’m more concerned about being off of chemo an additional four weeks. I know that may sound strange, but I have been off of chemo since the first week of February and this surgery will push my chemo start date back another four weeks. I’m anxious because each time I’ve been off of chemo for an extended period of time, my cancer has come back.

This past month has been really hard on my family and me. All of this is complicated and out of my hands. I drive myself crazy trying to predict all the different scenarios ahead of me and trying to control the future. I read this quote, in a daily devotional book, and found it appropriate for my situation; “A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control. ”  This quote pulls me back to living in the present and appreciating the moment.

Here is a great article from Psychology Today showing the mindset of advanced stage cancer survivors. The article describes common characteristics of cancer patients who have lived past the past the five-year survival timeframe. I’ve also known many beautiful cancer patients who lived this way and didn’t live to the five-year survival timeframe. It goes to show you how complicated cancer is and how it is individualized. Either way, I really connected with this article and believe this article closely represents my mentality with fighting cancer.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201503/the-new-cancer-survivors

After reading the psychology today article, you can look up my name and my work personal statement at psychologytoday.com. Please refer anybody to me who may be struggling with a chronic illness or disease.

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-On a different note. I had a great pre-surgery weekend with Gerrit Benson, Matt Leslie, and Roger Nouer. We shared many funny stories and I had a lot of painful laughs (laughing, coughing, hiccups, and shortness of breath episodes are painful). Also, thanks to Kevin Gladstone who ran in a marathon this weekend and dedicated it to fighting cancer. You’re the man Kevin.

Please send prayers and good vibes my way these upcoming weeks.